Smurfing: a Crime in the World of Finance

Posted in Uncategorized on February 25, 2011 by lottyinperth

I am naturally confused and easily distracted. This becomes clearest when I’m studying.

This distraction goes further than wanting to clean or do the dishes rather than read that bloody finance book. Efficiently looking up a term in the investment dictionary turns into browsing through all other terms (as if I was in a clothing store without money).

The goal was to look up what p/e meant. Instead, all my attention gathered at the financial term Smurfing.

This is American financial slang defining the transfer of small sums of money, from different accounts, to one account. The latter commonly being an offshore account.

I ‘ve understood that the men of Wall Street knows how to party; but just how many party pills had the inventors of this slang word consumed before naming above mentioned process SMURFING?

Maybe it’s just me reacting to this, since I am a huge fan of the Smurf tales. Smurfing for me defines the actions of the Smurfs such as playing, cooking, etc. So why this negative touch to it? Here comes my analyze.

Dictionary:

Smurfs: small sums of money

Mushroom Houses: the different bank accounts

Gargamel’s Pot: main bank account

Gargamel’s House (castle, mansion…) : off-shore in relation to the Smurf Village

Scene:

The Smurfs live in Mushroom Houses. The unlawful Gargamel’s goal is to collect all Smurfs and put them in his pot, far away from their safe haven.

Boiling of Smurfs = Laundering of Money.  Hence the criminal touch to Smurfing. It can be used in a reverse manner, for an action done by Gargamel.

As shocking as this financial Smurf story is Justin Bieber’s new hair style. This must have caused tumult in the Bieber Fan World.  Yuck.

Have a great weekend y’all! I’m going to Rottnest to cheer those champs swimming from the main land out to Rottnest Island (40 minutes by boat). How terrifying are the circumstances of being trapped in the deep water for hours: the home of the Great White Shark?  

Someone else hears the Jaws song playing?

This weekend song is not that one for sure.

This weekend song is Australian Bag Raiders with Sunlight:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3TLCkIGV2mw

(Pictures from:  utb.karlshamn.se, coast-accommodation.com.au,  blogg.aftonbladet.se, snarkerati.com, glamourvanity.com, femhundrafilmtips.blogg.se)

Advertisements

Wise Taxi Drivers’ View on World Politics

Posted in Uncategorized on February 12, 2011 by lottyinperth

When it comes to the problematic world politics there are two truths:

1. You always seem to come up with the best solutions to world peace with your friends after a boozy night out

2. The best arena for talking world politics is in the taxi ride home from this boozy night out

I just happen to always step into those taxis driven by wise, educated and experienced drivers. Eventual alcohol infused perception is not an important variabel here. 🙂

Last night we stepped into this taxi with a crazy radio broadcasting in the background. It sounded as if we had accessed some frequence we’re not allowed to, like a secret radio broadcast.

Taxi Driver: Sorry, I will turn this off. It’s just that something very shaking has just happened in the Middle East.

Lotty: Nooooo. Keep it turned on. Please get me in the loop, what’s happening?

Taxi Driver: Mubarak has just resigned. The military has taken over. This is good.

Since I wrote about Egypt and chaos in Cairo in my last blog post I wanted to know why he thought it was good. He told us he was from Somalia and with corruption being normality in Africa and Middle East it still has different shades to it. The president Mubarak has lived like a king, spending a vulgar sum of money on himself, while his people are suffering from all the lacks of the society. 

Then he compared the amount of money Mubarak has wasted to another African president’s crazy spending and this comparison would make Mr Corrupt nr 2 look like a saint to Mr Corrupt nr 1: Mubarak.  

Like I’ve stated before. Sometimes it seems like political elections (or the absence of them) seem to aim at getting the least bad person or party ruling the country. An army ruling Egypt just doesn’t sound like an ideal solution, but I guess it is less bad than a president always dressing up in his money-spending-pants?  

Lotty: What is the solution to the hopelessness in your home country? (I think this can be a confirmed condition of Somalia)

Taxi Driver: Education. (as the answer to often is)

I felt extremely enlightened after that taxi drive. I started on my peace solution strategy before realising I had a deadline on an assignment in my University Course “Entepreneurship”.

I had to write down 10 ideas for what to do with a brick. These ideas are going to be creative, innovative and brilliant and this brick invention is going to be sold on E-bay in a couple of weeks.

These are 3 of the ideas I posted last night:

6. Use the brick as a weapon (to throw at your enemies).

9. Create a new sport. The “throwing a brick” sport.

10. To help knocking back a body part that is dislocated. Doctors can use a brick for this.

I woke up this morning and screamed straight out. It’s one of those moments when you’re just like “PLEASE tell me I did NOT write that idoitic thing last night!!!”

I can clearly neither become an inventor nor a peace activist. I am just as hopeless as the world politics, lacking all insights the taxi drivers possess.

So forget about this seemingly uneducated writer and move on to my good friend Jon Snowball.

This Australian 25 year old has left the safe bubble of Perth for adventures in South America. I am so proud of him that he has now, after much consideration, started a blog. Follow funny Jon “Snowy” Snowball and his mates here:

http://snowballschanceinhell.wordpress.com/

This weekend song is David Guetta feat Rhianna (LOVE this super cool duo) with “Who’s That Chick?”:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BOdmf4N5aPE

Stay Sane in an Unsane World

Posted in Uncategorized on February 4, 2011 by lottyinperth

This blog is supposed to be about Perth, but the city lacks news stories at the moment. We did have a cyclone warning last weekend – but that cyclone (luckily) decided not to sweep mercilessly through the city. Due to that cyclone’s absence I take the liberty commenting on news outside of Perth in this blog post.

In Australia we have flood, cyclone and fire. At the moment it seems that this country is the home of natural disasters, at least if you live in Queensland. As if the flooding wasn’t enough, they now have the aftermath of a huge cyclone to deal with. One can only hope that “it can only get better” is the story of the (weather) prognosis for the rest of 2011.

On the topic of natural disasters I have to refer back to one of my earliest blog posts when I wrote about the hail storm that hit Perth last year. What still confuses me is the name natural disasters get. Apparently it is the person or team first spotting the natural disaster that gets to name it.

The cyclone in Queensland is called Yasi. It was a team in Fiji that got the “honor” to name it, – hence the exotic name. Yasi got reported speed from at least 185km/h, leaving over 177 000 properties without power and forced 6000 people to flee to emergency centers. 75% of Australia’s banana crop was destroyed by Yasi (HOW WILL THIS AFFECT THE BANANA BREAD INDUSTRY?!).

Yasi is a way too pretty name for the cyclone. My advice for all people getting the chance naming natural disasters in the future is: give it the name that would be the last you name your own child. I would for example name it: Adolf, Stalin, Usama, Saddam or Göran.

Over to Egygt and chaos in Cairo. Today is the Egyptian protesters chosen “departure day” for President Mubarak. Therefor I thought I comment on the chaos in Cairo on my blog. Not that anyone in Egypt would read this. Partly because they shut down the Internet (how is that done anyone?) and partly because I doubt that any of my 5 readers a day are from Egypt.

President Hosni Mubarak is 82 and has ruled the country for over 30 years. He has agreed to quit his job as the ruler of Egypt later on this year. Now when he has throw in the towel– why not sooner than later? One wonders if he’s enjoying seeing his people suffering without money or food. If that is the case I am now adding Hosni Mubarak on my name list for natural disasters.

The last news story, to comment, is from Norway. Norwegian MP Snorre Valen has nominated Wikileaks for Nobel Peace Prize. He means that Wikileaks’ disclosure of classified documents promotes world peace by holding governments accountable for their actions.

Comment: Is Mr. Valen, another Scandinavian lover of Julian Assange?  I’d say Wikileaks’ ‘playing with fire’-act when it comes to world politics risks more conflicts to blow out in the world than working as a peace making tool. Maybe Snorre thought he nominated Wikileaks in the category Nobel ‘Creating more Conflicts’ Prize.

Enjoy your weekend and enjoy this weekend song Hello by Martin Solveig & Dragonette:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kK42LZqO0wA

[Facts from: The West Australia 4/2-2011; Pictures from: sail-world.com, nadurjana.com, postharvest.ucdavis.edu, komonews.com, minx.cc ]

Daddy, Diddy, Silk, Money, Dirty

Posted in Uncategorized on January 28, 2011 by lottyinperth

What’s hot and what’s not so hot at the moment?

Not so hot is that I have started studying again. And it gets worse. Subject of my choice is Knowledge about the Stock market. And it gets worse: I read the wrong course literature list and ordered books for 200 dollars. Told my teacher “You can never have too much literature to read, right?” Sarchasm. If you ever wonder where to find me, I think the best place to start looking is at a University providing distance courses. I just never seem to check out.

Hot is that P Diddy has changed name again. Ok, this might not be a news story but it just hit me how brilliant his new-ish name is: Dirty Diddy Money. The source of inspiration for this name change might have been
1. Prince or Symbol or whatever name he has
2. A guy I met in London, wearing the Usher-hat and introducing himself to me as G Money and to my friend Petrina as G Money Silk.

Daddy, Diddy, Silk, Money, Dirty…Add that to your name and you will end up on my Hot-list.

Week in short.

I returned to Perth from Bali just in time for Australia Day. The highlight of this day, for the Aussies of Perth, is the fireworks which I tried to capture with my not so professional camera. The highlight for me was all the lovely food our friends brought to my boyfriend’s place. I forced him to throw a dinner party at 6pm. We landed in Perth 4.30pm so it was stress, stress, stress. But we made it.

I learnt a lot in Bali from all the interesting people we met. I don’t think you can over-share so here I’ll cure your curiosity.

From Broome-people (city in North West Australia) I learnt that you run into crocodiles where they live on an everyday basis. The strategy to deal with these meetings – for many of us a life-threatening-encounter – is to be croc-smart. Habitants of Brooklyn are street-smart, habitants of Broome are croc-smart.

From Saudi Arabia-people I learnt that part from oil, they have lots of palm trees. Lots. I also learnt that even though it’s illegal to drink alcohol in Saudi Arabia, some people will smuggle it in from Bahrain. The penalties for this action are strict, if not deadly, so that is one brave import action.

I learnt that good in Balinese is Baguz (probably incorrect spelling) and that it is ok not to put on helmets on kids while they are on motorbikes rushing through mad traffic.

Other than that, how lovely are the Balinese people. It is just something so captivating with their lifestyle that I observed during my 5 days there. Simplicity and harmony would be my words to describe it. I arrived there overly stressed to find peace of mind and managed to do so. The Balinese people that I met just seemed to crack into laughter for the most trivial things in life. They met you with smiles and happiness. They asked curious questions.

Hearing plenty of them saying that they had visited Australia many times in their dreams made me realise how spoilt I am. That’s how it always is. You travel and see other people’s reality and that is when it first hits you how good your life is. Then you forget it after being back home for a period of time. This time I’ll try to always keep it in mind.

I said to a Balinese girl I met that she had super cool sunnies. She gave them to me, without hesitation, saying that if I loved them I should have them. Generosity in its purest form.

This weekend song is Higher with Taio Cruz and Kylie Minogue:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KRBS5WZMdik

2011 is about keeping it real!

Posted in Uncategorized on January 12, 2011 by lottyinperth

Happy New Year!!!

I celebrated the swap from 2010 to 2011 being dressed up as a corrupt police man from the Australian TV-show Underbelly. The theme of the New Year’s Party I went to was Super Hero vs Villain. I had to look up synonyms to understand the meaning of villain and got words like ‘nasty’, ‘anti-hero’ and ‘baddie’.

So I though coming as the police man Eddie Gould (equals nastiest baddy in NSW police force) in this popular TV-show was perfect. Noone at the party understood who I was. Cat Woman would have been a better choice anyone?

However, a new year has begun and ‘deja-experienced’ hits me all over again (ill spelt French, English and American in a mix). This is what I mean with this crazily constructed sentence: I always go through the same fusion of emotions at the opening of each year.

It is a bittersweet blend of feeling anxious, excited and older.

Like a meteor the paradox always hits me that I do feel older & wiser yet at the same time I will realise how little I know about everything going on in this world.  

Hence I will make the promise at the end of each year to educate myself more and be more attentive in the upcoming year. Which always ends up with me feeling I know less on 1 January.

“Been there done that” as Dr Dre would say. That’s how my life has been until 2011.

Well, this year New Year’s Resolution is inspired by Phil in Modern Family’s wisdom words:

“You keep it real so that you can take it to the next level”

                                                                                                                                             

2011 is all about keeping it real so that you can take it to the next level.

It is seeing things for what they really are. It is listening and understanding the reality you’re in. It is being honest with who you are and what you feel. All you see and hear and feel doesn’t necessarily have to be correct. But if you want to make a change (= take it to the next level) you need to understand the person you’re dealing with, the situation you’re in and most of all yourself.

                                                                          

To all people wanting to change something, someone or yourself to the better (which should be a goal for all of us this year) remember to keep it real. Don’t be judgemental and overly critical. Neither towards somebody else or to yourself. We all make mistakes. This world is far from perfect. But we can take it to the next level. 🙂

I have got a feeling that this year will be good. Very good. Good at another level than previous years. 🙂

This year’s first song on the blog is “Somewhere in the world tonight” by Altiyan Childs:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BSjQV52ZCs0&feature=related

(Pictures fromn: tvfanatic.com, last.fm)

Christmas Time is Hammer Time!

Posted in Uncategorized on December 30, 2010 by lottyinperth

Merry Christmas everyone!

This blog post was meant to be written and posted well before this date.

But let’s keep it real: christmas is the time of the year when we can let ourselves be lazy. Lazyness in my life has no limits. If I end up being tiniest bit of energetic I force myself back into the lazy mode. The strategy for this is is:

1.) eat as much as you can (far more than 5 times a day)

2.) never hesitate to take that second glass of red wine (‘you can never drink too much red wine’)

Christmas in Australia is never going to be like Christmas in Sweden. The temperature difference of 40 degrees Celsius is just not going to let that happen. But becoming a patriotic Swede everytime while abroad – I did put an effort into giving Christmas here a Swedish shimmer (before tuning into lazy mode).

Åsa and I threw a Swedish X-mas party 18 December (that I have been wanting to write about for over ten days now). We served Swedish food (all bought at IKEA except the Kladdkaka). We made our own vodka shots by putting peppermint rock sticks into vodka bottles. We forced all our guests (especially the non-Swedes) to continually shot this witchbrew after finishing the song Helan Går.

I tried to be trendy and pulled on a pair of leopard pants for the party – but I did not quite manage to pull it off. Miss Fashion turned 100% Fashion Miss. This is what I heard during the night:

-silence
-“wow, are you going on Safari?”
-“you look so laidback, is that your pyjamas pants you’re wearing?”
-“someone just brought the 80’s back. Was it MC Hammer that inspired your choice of pants?”

The night then proceeded in a ‘Swedish Xmas party’-manner with Tequila shot race and at least one guy getting thrown out from the venue we ended up at.

Christmas Eve was spent at my sister’s Mia’s place with all my lovely nephews and nieces. We barbequed and swam in the ocean with Santa hats. Yes, life is good.    

Christmas Day we spent at Riley’s dad’s place where the best of British Xmas met the best of Australian Xmas. Picture fabolous turkey with potato and gravy side by side with marvellous barbequed crayfish and scallops. Yes, life is good.

Boxing Day Nathan took Riley’s mum and uncle (and the rest of us) out to Rottnest Island on his boat. This island is one of my favourite places on earth and to show him how grateful I am to everything he’s doing I acted in following manner.  

Nathan and I are floating on tires behind the boat when I feel something stroking my bum. I think immediately that this is a shark gently touching it (?!) and fly out of the water on to Nathan’s tire. I almost drown him in this movement and we both start panicking.

Lotty: A shark stroke my ass!!!

Nathan: The ROPE stroke it!

Lotty: You can never be too sure.

Nathan: So you choose to either let the shark kill me or you decide killing me yourself. You are mental.

This is my Christmas in a rap (doing the forbidden thing referring to myself in third person):

“Lotty ate and ate. She made herself the perfect shark – bate. This was after her MC Hammer time. Now I am totally out of rhyme.”

This week’s song is MC Hammer with “Can’t touch this”:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=otCpCn0l4Wo

Human beings = judgemental monkeys?

Posted in Uncategorized on December 14, 2010 by lottyinperth

As a person I would describe myself as open-minded and non-judgemental. But that is 1.) In general 2.) Most likely a too glorified view on myself.
 
Because I tend to put people into categories – which must classify as a judgemental act, right?

According to psychological theories human beings categorize to get a quick overview of their surroundings. We judge people to get a grip of the situation – e.g. are those beings we run into a threat to our safety or not.
 
My sister Sanna and I love to play different characters (we just don’t grow out of this game). These are some of the characters we play:
 
Svante & Charles: two upper-class Swedish men whose achievements in life are measured in the amount of Bollinger they drink in St Tropez. “On the Riviera…” is the most used phrase in their conversations. They are the definition of “glassiga” (direct translation: ice cream-ish) meaning they cruise around life in expensive cars and view a world in shimmer behind their Gucci sunnies.

    
 
Oleg & Katinka: two Russian characters who lack all sense for fashion and style. Katinka has yellow hair, dark roots and always wears a scrunchie.  They speak very slowly and in a distinct overly articulate accent. Think Angelina Jolie acting Russian and you get the picture.

                                                                                         
 
Gomman & Papi Chulo: “Ghetto fabulous”, “glamorous”, “too cool for school” in a wild and unsuccessful mix. These two characters are so full of themselves that they don’t even notice others blindness of their cool-ness.

                                                                                                 

It is fun to act as a stereotype from time to time. I highly recommend that you find your own characters to play. It also makes it easier to understand how simple (and stupid) it is to put a person you meet straight inside a frame.

A personality consists of so many different shades. We have different – often contradictive – sides to our personalities. We also act differently in different situations and with different people. Adapting animals as we are (most of us at least).  

My advice to make this week a little bit more entertaining is to bring out the monkey inside of you. Get in the mode with this Week Song – Gorillaz with Doncamatic:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OJQyTnD74gk

(Pictures from: blogs.riverfronttimes.com, l3ak.com, worlds-luxury-guide.com, en.loadtr.com)