Clean, Fresh & Sex Crazy Sweden

I have arrived in Sweden . First thing that hit me when I walked off the plane to the luggage area was how clean and modern everything is. It feels great to be able to drink well tasting water straight from the tap. Welcome to clean and fresh Sweden.

Then I walked past a news bill for one of Sweden’s biggest and most sensational newspapers, showing the headline “Caught having sex in Church”, containing  very visual photos of a couple getting arrested by police in a CHURCH. Welcome to liberal and sex crazy Sweden.

 

My journey to Sweden started with a flight from Perth to Kuala Lumpur. Like last year when I did the same trip, I was seated beside a man who would instantly bother me. He smelt like a bottle of whisky mixed with an ashtray.  This man was not Asian like the legend from my last trip, but he shared the habit of insisting on talking-to-someone-and-not-accepting-they -cannot-understand-you.

 

The difference was that this man spoke English. Just in a incomprehensible way.

 

I tried my best being polite, decoding his speech and smiling a little. He responded with a stone face and more bullshit. So lucky was I when the cabin staff handed out headphones. Those were covering my ears the rest of the trip, even when they served dinner. “CHICKEN!!!”,  I must have screamed out when the dinner came. Chicken seems to be the standing alternative for all flight meals, hence I chose this safe card not to risk taking my head phones off.

 

Even though the head phones were on, I could feel the pain of the air being cut through like a knife from the cries of a choir of babies. I counted 4 babies around me. They were having a “Who can cry loudest and for longest?”-competition. The champ closest to me won.  I think he cried/screamed 90% of the flight. That’s a true winner!

 

The question people tend to ask you when you get over 25: “Are you ready to have a baby?”should be corrected. 

 

Babies are cute and have soft, raspberry smelling skin.

 

It should be:

“Are you ready for some sleep deprivation?”

 

In the morning, the Champ who deprived me of my sleep, smiled at me. Not a vicious smile. A pure and happy smile. I smiled back (as I’m not a whisky/ashtray stinking stone face). I guess that even if they steal your energy, they have got the talent of giving it back to you.

 

I am so happy to be in Sweden to enjoy the summer. We barbequed salmon at 9pm yesterday and the sun was shining. That puts a big smile on my face.  

 

Here is this weekend’s Top 3 list (based on albums listened to at Malaysian Airlines…):

 

1. Science & Faith, The Script (with lyrics):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w2gFlXGdXBc

 

2. Rolling in the Deep, Adele:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rYEDA3JcQqw

 

3. When I’m alone, Lissie:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7G0_eN36QVc

 

I’m an Angry Bird over 20

Last week has been full of exams and final assignments at Uni. That makes me feel like this angry bird that I spotted on the brewery Little Creatures.

I feel even more like this bird, when I think about Linda’s departure from Perth last Monday. We spent the Sunday before that at Little Creatures, my favorite spot in Perth. Easy choice as they:

1. Serve thin chips with crispy skin
2. Manage to make fantastic aioli that even “I HATE Mayo”-Lotty loves
3. Their beer will astound even the strictest wine drinker

Linda is one of those great people you meet who leaves a foot print in your life and in your heart.

She is the one that I dug up a pot flower with from Hay Street and then planted it again on Murray Street.  Guess that our contribution in making city of Perth more attractive is moving pot flowers on the shopping streets.

We share an interest of partying in a memorable manner as above and below photos demonstrate.

We are also crap at skipping nightclub lines. One example from an attempt at Tiger Lil’s nightclub.

Lotty (addressing bouncer): We’re under Andrew on the guest list.

Bouncer: Nope. No Andrew on the list.

Linda:  Sorry, she meant Arthur.

Bouncer: Nope, no Arthur either.

Lotty: What I really meant however was Adam. Or John.

Bouncer: Ladies, how about joining the line as everyone else?

Linda I will miss you heaps! Ps Thanks for telling the bouncer at Generous Squire to check my ID (adding “she gets sad if people think that she’s over 20.”)

This week’s song is suitable Alizée with “J’ai Pas Vingt Ans”:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JKz-t1wX7kI&feature=related

And here is the Benny Benassi remix of same song (love this remix):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3C-yUs2Qa9s

Bieber Hot & Prince William Sweating like a Dogg

During Easter Break I did a lot of things but eating traditional Easter food or attending church. I did however contemplate why Australians call it Good Friday while Swedes call it Long Friday. Jesus died a long death, – hence Long Friday. But why Good Friday?

Riley’s birthday is occuring during Easter so a lot of focus was on him. I focused on singing Happy Birthday over and over again, to his lack of delight.  

The birthday was celebrated at Brad’s place. Brad had rented a spa. That’s just Brad. Brad said he had spent 16 hours in the spa during Good Friday. Which sounds like a religious statement of forcing pain on yourself. Or just Brad. SEO “Brad”….:)

Later on during the same party, a stunning girl came up to me and briefly stroke my hair. 

Girl: It’s too short.  (Comment followed by a swap-side of her Hollywood mane. You know the Shampoo-commercial style)

Lotty: I can’t have it as long as yours. It’s too thin, it’ll break.  (I have never been good at defending myself)

Girl: Have you heard about hair extensions? It’s great.  (The throw with the hair again)

Lotty: You’re right. I should use hair extensions.  (Or just realise I’m not 21 anymore)

During Easter my niece told me that a movie with Justin Bieber is out on the cinemas. She enlightened me not only of the fact that he is sexy and hot. She also stated that I will define his looks in those terms after watching the movie.

 

Hence I decided not to take the risk of ever seeing that movie. What did make me happy though is the logic it runs out in:

“Justin Bieber is considered sexy and hot.”

“My hair  looks like Justin Bieber’s hair.”

“Hence, my hair style is hot.” Ha, stunning-girl-at-the-party!

Tonight or more accurately today (in London time) Prince William and “Katherine-Kate” are getting married. Therefor I have chosen “Sweat” by Snoop Dogg and David Guetta as this weekend’s song. This song was produced for Prince William:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cTVtvPEKLAU

The outfit of the Easter week was found at Windsor, spotted by me and Sarah. A man well over 40 rocked his (spider)socks off in below outfit:

(Pictures from: cinemovie.tv, albumartexchange.us)

Sensational Singapore

How was my 2 day itinerary in Singapore? Expensive. Exhausting. And totally Exhilarating.

 

Being in Singapore is like being a kid in a candy store. First you get overly excited, then high on the pleasure it brings you, and finally you end up feeling sick of it. After two days you have had it with:

1. Starbucks (“let’s put loads of artificial flavours, sugar and milk in the mugs so that the customers can’t taste the poor quality of the coffee”)

2. Prada staff (“only force a smile on your face for and say hi to the customers spending a minimum of $1000”)

3. Orchard Road – Shopping Overload. As a rushed love affair, you fall in love as quick as you fall out of it.

 

Orchard Road is however the hub for galleries, boutiques and eateries. If you want a tailor made suit, shirt or dress you will find it here. If you are craving for culinary delights you will find it here. If you just need to munge on any of the cup cakes in the Angry Bird series you will find the opportunity to do so here.

The road is dynamic, colorful and eccentric. I found the perfect bag for my laptop at Marc by Marc Jacobs and a pair of shoes to die for at Jimmy Choo. I departed both stores empty handed with a broken heart. I assured my partner that if I was rich, I would for sure look as good as Miranda Kerr or Sienna Miller. I am one design conscious girl, just one lacking the liquidity. Good excuse, hey? 😉

Singapore is like a pot of traditionalism mixed with futurism. Moments occurred when I thought “Wow, this is what the future city will look like.” Cable cars taking us from Singapore to the nearby island Sentosa might be the transport system the future holds in hand. Us driving downhills in mini cars at the same Sentosa island just to get to the beach. Like being in the Back to the Future movie.

 

My picks of the trip:

Shopping: Charles & Keith. Like my friend Rhianna said before the trip “Girlfriend, do yourself the favour and visit Charles & Keith.” As I entered the store, I entered a paradise of shoes and bags. At bargain prices!

Bakery: Designer Bakes. Even if you do not buy the cup cakes, the pure existence of them will fill you with happiness. Super Mario Bro’s and Angry Birds as cup cakes = genius!

Bars: Pricewise it hurts in the wallet, but C Clinic is such a cool bar in Clarke Quay. The bartenders are dressed as doctors and nurses on the duty to make sure all “patients” drink enough. Another bar for the sassy and hip crowd (not sure if we were hip enough though) is Le Noir. When sharing a sheesha (love pronouncing that word!) in the harbor, we noticed a skyhigh bar, which we decided to find our way to. It is called Helipad and is well worth a visit due to the spectacular view.

 

As spectacular, cool and sassy as those bars is this weekend’s song, Last Night with Ian Carey, Snoop Dogg & Bobby Anthony:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mf1mG6iw9fs

Lotty going to Singapore

Not only am I a bad blogger with one of the least updated blogs in the blogosphere.

I am also a bad friend. My best friend and loyal reader of my blog has posted 3 comments the last week. It took me about a week to reply to those.

So here I am, super stressed before our Singapore weekend, ignoring my boyfriend begging me to help him pack – to do 2 things:

1. Post 1 blog post before I go to Singapore. 2. Be a good friend and reply to comments posted on my blog.

I also, to be an even better blogger and friend, promise to put up photos of myself in next blog post. At this stage my hairdo has become a mix of Justin Bieber and something an old lady would choose a a hairstyle. 

Have a great weekend everyone! This weekend’s song is Rumors by Lindsay Lohan (only reason of choice that I had no idea she was also a singer! Multitalented = actress/drug&alcohol addict/singer).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g01J9DW10EQ&feature=related

Boxing, Bieber & Bilar

This week has been a journey in a spinning wheel. I hardly know if I am human being or robot anymore. Not only does it feel as if I have aged this week, other signs are out there to confirm the getting older has taken place:

1. I am not familiar with sleeping in anymore. Waking up after 8am makes me feel guilty.

2. I have said following sentence out loud “I feel that the hours of the day just aren’t enough” one too many times.

Why this negativity? I have been studying for the final exam in the Stockmarket tomorrow. I am not going to bore you; instead I will share the only amusing thing about the share market in Sweden.

Call- (köp) and put- (sälj) options are monthly organized with a letter. Call options will get the letter A-L and put options will get the letter M-X. Each letter has a name: A’s name is Adam. Adam means Call option with the end month of January.  Each name has a nick name. The nick name of the put options’ V and W are: VODKA and WHISKY.

Does this not want you want to attend an old fashioned option auction, slightly intoxicated, and scream out “I want to buy 10 units of VODKA and 500 units of WHISKY!!!” Haha.

What else is new?

Well I have had a haircut. Since I don’t have any photo evidence of this new hairdo I will show a picture of Justin Bieber for you to get the picture of what I look like. So part from spending a week in hell, this sequence of my life has been experienced to the tunes of “Baby, Baby, Baby” by Mr. (or Master?) Bieber performed by my dear partner.  

My younger sister Sanna is boxing with a former Swedish boxing champion: Paolo Roberto. Paolo is the gangster – went good guy – went actor/TV-host – went politician. He’s known for this legendary character journey and the character played in the cult movie Stockholm Night. Sanna has been texting me about this for weeks, never responding to my repeated question “Why?”  

 vs. 

I told her to mumble following movie lines from Stockholm Night where Paulo plays a gangster (himself?) while boxing “Something to bite in…” and “Mind your own business you old hag!”

Lost in translation of the week.

R and I went to IKEA to buy one piece of furniture and lots of candy. The candy cars at IKEA are exclusively worth going all the way out there for. I held one car in front of R, theatrically saying “There is only one way to stop them. [Dramatic pause] In your mouth.” R looked at me with the typical ‘my girlfriend is a lunatic’-look, without even trying to understand what I was saying.  

Minutes after, I started laughing (lunatic manner confirmed). “I mean that the only way you can put them is in your mouth. In Swedish put can be “stoppa”. Like stop you know. Makes sense hey?”

I look like Justin Bieber.  Usher is in Australia. This makes the logical choice of weekend song “Somebody to love” with Justin Bieber and Usher. This You Tube clip has been watched over 143 million times:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SOI4OF7iIr4

 (Pictures from: shenzhenparty.com, celebritysmackblog.com, tradera.com, resume.se, stureplan.se, flickr.com)

Lake King – Western Australia’s best kept secret

I am back in Perth after spending 24 hours in Lake King, a town located in Western Australia’s outback.  

Normally I would be able to describe a weekend (or more accurate a day) in a few phrases but now I don’t even know where to begin to do this trip justice. However –  I will do my best.

So there we were 5 girls, early Saturday morning, leaving the “big” city Perth to travel 4 hours to Lake King. Or that’s what we thought. Renee was the only one who had contemplated that a map could be useful. So she had painted a map.

We agreed upon that when going somewhere, the road trip is more than 50% of the fun. And we did have a great road trip singing along to all kinds of songs and thoroughly discussing all important topics in life such as love, sex and foreign policy.

We stopped at the few gas stations we passed to buy somethin (anything) and to act as if we had arrived in another country with a very different culture. Questions such as “How many people live here?”, “Do you have a school?” were asked to the staff in slow, articulate English while we nodded insightfully to their answers. (Replied in quick, perfect English: “Over 1500.” “Of course we have a school.”)

We found a peculiar sign (see below) accusing a fox for the crime of murdering and slaughtering amongst other really bad things!!! The choice of words and three exclamation marks made us speechless so we decided to document it.

 

 Well in Lake King 7 hours after starting point a sign welcomed us with the slogan “Lake King – Western Australia’s best kept secret”.  This together with the fact that no one had phone reception led ones thought to all those horror movies of young people going out on road trips, happy unknowingly what is ahead of them. Why is Lake King kept a secret?

We went into the pub which is located by a gas station (=this constitutes the secret town) to make a phone call to Åsa whose phone was off. Since they all know each other in this town the bartender could give us a precise road description to Åsa’s house. “5-10 k’s after the red lights (my note: the first ones for 3 hours) and then right where the fences are white.”

When we came to the house it was deserted. 2 dogs in a cage barking, flies attacking us and a huge spider lurking in his net by the fence. Sanna warned me that those hairy spiders jump towards your face if they feel threatened. My gut feeling got worse when we got to their door step and I almost whispered:

“Something is wrong guys. Those are kids’ shoes. I don’t know what is going on.” The horror movie scenario got stronger.

Then a car rolled up the drive way, and through the dusty air out of the car jumped Little Åsa, all happy and shiny.  How could I have forgotten that she has the tiniest feet in the world? 

See photo above for “Big” Åsa praying on the ground.

Happiness! The barking dogs got released from their cage and it came to our understanding that they are in fact sheep dogs. Michael told us to jump on the trunk of his car to go and see some of their 3000 sheep.  So there we sat, 6 girls on the trunk, sipping beer in the sunshine with beautiful sheep dogs. Dusty air flying around us on this bumpy road trip, still all of us laughing and having fun.

Horror movie turned beer commercial.

After downing a whole bottle of Zubrowka, probably the best vodka in the world, we went out for dinner at the one place you can go out to: the Pub.

The pub is the center of Lake King.  There’s just no other options in this case – so the pub is da place to be. Below a photo of Renee and the Jukebox, which our girl group was ruling in a dictatorship manner.

We spent a night living like men. You would find us either in the bar ordering booze or playing games. Not love games. Fussball, pool and dart. The whole night.  The pub closed in the middle of my last dart game which by then was getting fiercely.

We headed to Åsa’s house after the game/party night, and she announced she had told someone she was having an after party. After 5 minutes one car rolled up by her house. Then 2, 3, 4, 5, SIX cars full of people. Literally the whole town, who had been on the pub, showed up to the after party.

It was one of those wild after party’s where:

1.Someone in my group gets so into Wee tennis so she swings two wine glasses in the wall in her tennis swing.

2. Someone in my group tricks a thirsty girl in the town that it is water in my plastic bottle of vodka.

 3. I consider to chase one guy, who is highly annoying, out of the house with a fire stick.

4. The guys in the town puts toilet paper on fire in the garden.

It was a wild night in Lake King: Western Australia’s best kept secret.

On the way back no one longer agreed to the fun-ness of a road trip. We were a bunch of hung over girls, feeling like ship wrecks with a minimum of 6 hours road trip in front of us. The girl talk was swapped to silence and the music was swapped to pod casts on the subject of tragic real life stories. 

But those 24 hours in Lake King will never be forgotten.  

Above picture: Lotty chasing sheep.

Little Åsa: please write a book about your life. PLEASE. I put my order in now for a signed version of it.  

(Pictures from:  australianexplorer.com and my camera)

Smurfing: a Crime in the World of Finance

I am naturally confused and easily distracted. This becomes clearest when I’m studying.

This distraction goes further than wanting to clean or do the dishes rather than read that bloody finance book. Efficiently looking up a term in the investment dictionary turns into browsing through all other terms (as if I was in a clothing store without money).

The goal was to look up what p/e meant. Instead, all my attention gathered at the financial term Smurfing.

This is American financial slang defining the transfer of small sums of money, from different accounts, to one account. The latter commonly being an offshore account.

I ‘ve understood that the men of Wall Street knows how to party; but just how many party pills had the inventors of this slang word consumed before naming above mentioned process SMURFING?

Maybe it’s just me reacting to this, since I am a huge fan of the Smurf tales. Smurfing for me defines the actions of the Smurfs such as playing, cooking, etc. So why this negative touch to it? Here comes my analyze.

Dictionary:

Smurfs: small sums of money

Mushroom Houses: the different bank accounts

Gargamel’s Pot: main bank account

Gargamel’s House (castle, mansion…) : off-shore in relation to the Smurf Village

Scene:

The Smurfs live in Mushroom Houses. The unlawful Gargamel’s goal is to collect all Smurfs and put them in his pot, far away from their safe haven.

Boiling of Smurfs = Laundering of Money.  Hence the criminal touch to Smurfing. It can be used in a reverse manner, for an action done by Gargamel.

As shocking as this financial Smurf story is Justin Bieber’s new hair style. This must have caused tumult in the Bieber Fan World.  Yuck.

Have a great weekend y’all! I’m going to Rottnest to cheer those champs swimming from the main land out to Rottnest Island (40 minutes by boat). How terrifying are the circumstances of being trapped in the deep water for hours: the home of the Great White Shark?  

Someone else hears the Jaws song playing?

This weekend song is not that one for sure.

This weekend song is Australian Bag Raiders with Sunlight:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3TLCkIGV2mw

(Pictures from:  utb.karlshamn.se, coast-accommodation.com.au,  blogg.aftonbladet.se, snarkerati.com, glamourvanity.com, femhundrafilmtips.blogg.se)

Wise Taxi Drivers’ View on World Politics

When it comes to the problematic world politics there are two truths:

1. You always seem to come up with the best solutions to world peace with your friends after a boozy night out

2. The best arena for talking world politics is in the taxi ride home from this boozy night out

I just happen to always step into those taxis driven by wise, educated and experienced drivers. Eventual alcohol infused perception is not an important variabel here. 🙂

Last night we stepped into this taxi with a crazy radio broadcasting in the background. It sounded as if we had accessed some frequence we’re not allowed to, like a secret radio broadcast.

Taxi Driver: Sorry, I will turn this off. It’s just that something very shaking has just happened in the Middle East.

Lotty: Nooooo. Keep it turned on. Please get me in the loop, what’s happening?

Taxi Driver: Mubarak has just resigned. The military has taken over. This is good.

Since I wrote about Egypt and chaos in Cairo in my last blog post I wanted to know why he thought it was good. He told us he was from Somalia and with corruption being normality in Africa and Middle East it still has different shades to it. The president Mubarak has lived like a king, spending a vulgar sum of money on himself, while his people are suffering from all the lacks of the society. 

Then he compared the amount of money Mubarak has wasted to another African president’s crazy spending and this comparison would make Mr Corrupt nr 2 look like a saint to Mr Corrupt nr 1: Mubarak.  

Like I’ve stated before. Sometimes it seems like political elections (or the absence of them) seem to aim at getting the least bad person or party ruling the country. An army ruling Egypt just doesn’t sound like an ideal solution, but I guess it is less bad than a president always dressing up in his money-spending-pants?  

Lotty: What is the solution to the hopelessness in your home country? (I think this can be a confirmed condition of Somalia)

Taxi Driver: Education. (as the answer to often is)

I felt extremely enlightened after that taxi drive. I started on my peace solution strategy before realising I had a deadline on an assignment in my University Course “Entepreneurship”.

I had to write down 10 ideas for what to do with a brick. These ideas are going to be creative, innovative and brilliant and this brick invention is going to be sold on E-bay in a couple of weeks.

These are 3 of the ideas I posted last night:

6. Use the brick as a weapon (to throw at your enemies).

9. Create a new sport. The “throwing a brick” sport.

10. To help knocking back a body part that is dislocated. Doctors can use a brick for this.

I woke up this morning and screamed straight out. It’s one of those moments when you’re just like “PLEASE tell me I did NOT write that idoitic thing last night!!!”

I can clearly neither become an inventor nor a peace activist. I am just as hopeless as the world politics, lacking all insights the taxi drivers possess.

So forget about this seemingly uneducated writer and move on to my good friend Jon Snowball.

This Australian 25 year old has left the safe bubble of Perth for adventures in South America. I am so proud of him that he has now, after much consideration, started a blog. Follow funny Jon “Snowy” Snowball and his mates here:

http://snowballschanceinhell.wordpress.com/

This weekend song is David Guetta feat Rhianna (LOVE this super cool duo) with “Who’s That Chick?”:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BOdmf4N5aPE

Stay Sane in an Unsane World

This blog is supposed to be about Perth, but the city lacks news stories at the moment. We did have a cyclone warning last weekend – but that cyclone (luckily) decided not to sweep mercilessly through the city. Due to that cyclone’s absence I take the liberty commenting on news outside of Perth in this blog post.

In Australia we have flood, cyclone and fire. At the moment it seems that this country is the home of natural disasters, at least if you live in Queensland. As if the flooding wasn’t enough, they now have the aftermath of a huge cyclone to deal with. One can only hope that “it can only get better” is the story of the (weather) prognosis for the rest of 2011.

On the topic of natural disasters I have to refer back to one of my earliest blog posts when I wrote about the hail storm that hit Perth last year. What still confuses me is the name natural disasters get. Apparently it is the person or team first spotting the natural disaster that gets to name it.

The cyclone in Queensland is called Yasi. It was a team in Fiji that got the “honor” to name it, – hence the exotic name. Yasi got reported speed from at least 185km/h, leaving over 177 000 properties without power and forced 6000 people to flee to emergency centers. 75% of Australia’s banana crop was destroyed by Yasi (HOW WILL THIS AFFECT THE BANANA BREAD INDUSTRY?!).

Yasi is a way too pretty name for the cyclone. My advice for all people getting the chance naming natural disasters in the future is: give it the name that would be the last you name your own child. I would for example name it: Adolf, Stalin, Usama, Saddam or Göran.

Over to Egygt and chaos in Cairo. Today is the Egyptian protesters chosen “departure day” for President Mubarak. Therefor I thought I comment on the chaos in Cairo on my blog. Not that anyone in Egypt would read this. Partly because they shut down the Internet (how is that done anyone?) and partly because I doubt that any of my 5 readers a day are from Egypt.

President Hosni Mubarak is 82 and has ruled the country for over 30 years. He has agreed to quit his job as the ruler of Egypt later on this year. Now when he has throw in the towel– why not sooner than later? One wonders if he’s enjoying seeing his people suffering without money or food. If that is the case I am now adding Hosni Mubarak on my name list for natural disasters.

The last news story, to comment, is from Norway. Norwegian MP Snorre Valen has nominated Wikileaks for Nobel Peace Prize. He means that Wikileaks’ disclosure of classified documents promotes world peace by holding governments accountable for their actions.

Comment: Is Mr. Valen, another Scandinavian lover of Julian Assange?  I’d say Wikileaks’ ‘playing with fire’-act when it comes to world politics risks more conflicts to blow out in the world than working as a peace making tool. Maybe Snorre thought he nominated Wikileaks in the category Nobel ‘Creating more Conflicts’ Prize.

Enjoy your weekend and enjoy this weekend song Hello by Martin Solveig & Dragonette:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kK42LZqO0wA

[Facts from: The West Australia 4/2-2011; Pictures from: sail-world.com, nadurjana.com, postharvest.ucdavis.edu, komonews.com, minx.cc ]